Whatever the definition of a "Real Woman", we all have our idea of what our ideal one may be. Women would like to envision themselves, strong, bold and unimpeded by the chains set by society. Men (as is seen in the fascination with Ronda Rousey and many other bada** females in today's world) would love to have a woman that can take control and lead the way. Unfortunately, for many"men" this is a fantasy that can only be lived in the space between their ears.
WARNING!! I am a firm believer in bad news first, then the good news. Bare with me. It gets better in part 2.
WHY ARE MEN NO LONGER MEN?
We live in a society of immediacy, of "gimme" and "gimme now" or "gimme faster". I don't know about everyone else, but I have taken a look at the apparent differences between my generation of men and that of my father's, his father's. For those not held hostage by the label "millennial", they grew up in a different world. If my father were to take a time machine from his childhood in the 60's and 70's to modern day, he would be astonished, shocked, probably a little scared, and very much so out of place.
Our society is still filtered with the definitions of the past to describe who we are in the present as we march ceaselessly into the future. Men are still held to the standards of the perfect man, the John Wayne type, if not to women, then in their own mind's. When our father's told us "Be a man.", this is what we had imagined. This is what we had imagined our fathers to be. Add on top of this the hyper masculinity of our biggest action heroes of the 80's and 90's and we are completely out of our league already when it comes to any female in our own psyche. This is, in my belief, the cause of such male emasculation in our society- the desire to live up to the fallacy of "MANHOOD".
We males have been pumped with so much testosterone action cartoons in our youth while in school we had to sit calmly, play nicely, and not be aggressive. This is very confusing. I look at my childhood through to my high school days and can only imagine how screwed up our boys are now that politically correct rhetoric has infiltrated the public schooling system.
My point in saying all this is: when you see a guy who is timid, but is obviously infatuated with a female, but is the nice guy, but still has male sexual urges, it is most likely his SUPED-UP/CALM DOWN programming from childhood sending him conflicting messages about how to engage in a serious relationship. I have seen guys go for years without a girlfriend simply because they don't know how to relate. The guys that fight or reject their programming either become calloused or complete jerks.
THE MALE "FEMINIST"
WARNING!!! This is not to put anyone down or to discredit their true commitment, only an observation of what I have witnessed in the behavior of many of my friends and associates, peers, so on..etc
The male-feminist is the ultimate culmination of the programming that we as males have undergone throughout our childhood. In essence, I believe that the resulting male-feminist has been trained from early childhood to yield over to the authority of a woman. In elementary school you were with a woman for 8 hours a day who told you how to play, talk, read, write, and so on. In high school, the odds of you having more male teachers increased, but we all know that education is a primarily female dominated profession (nothing wrong with that). Yet we must take a real look at how our society has changed in the last 60 years.
In my father's day, a young single woman in the community was not as common. The single-parent family was not common place. The role of the woman (no matter how archaic it may have been) was clearly laid out. As we move forward in time, the role of the woman in society underwent radical changes and freedom that had little to do with "voting" or "wearing a bra" had been found. Women had started and continue to gain more and more respect in the society (as they should). As we know, however, with change comes challenge and although there have been exciting progressions, the adjustments to these have "rocked the boat" for families.
When my father was in school, as a boy, only one parent needed to work. This means, no matter how many hours you were stuck in a classroom with the teacher, you could come home and KNOW who your parent was. Embarrassing to say the least, however I know I'm not the only one- I have called my teacher "Mom" on more than one occasion. I caught myself (even as a child) and though, "Wow! I'm spending way too much time with this person."
The male feminist lives in a society in which he may have been disconnected from his mother (she may have had to work), estranged from his father (who also had to work) who may not have had the time to "teach" him how to be a man. So where do most of our role models come from? Simple answer: Television. We (millennials) are a generation raised on the tube. Male feminists exist in a Disney fantasy (as many of us do) where if we do not have the compliance or acceptance of the female, somehow we have failed. Compare this to the "heroes" of the 50's, 60's, 70's that couldn't care less about the opinions of the "love interest" or any other woman who may have had more than two lines in a scene.
This is what brings me to my next point. The generation of Millennials is that of rebellion. We are the "rebels without a cause", all too often given one based on principles that we firmly believe but with political ramifications most rarely understand (occupy wallstreet is a good example). We aspire to be the care-free hippies of old but with the "shared responsibility" slogans of a revised Marxism. We are indeed confused.
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